Bandwidth Overload

Defintion: a business term relating to an over inundation of amount of work, or emotional energy exerted to sustain a schedule or situation.

In other words, I am feeling a bit left of center lately. This is for several reasons, I imagine. I could list them, but I don’t want to be boring by going into the details. I’ll just say simply that there seems to be a stockpile of things going less than satisfactory at the moment, and I have gotten caught up with dwelling on, or worrying about them in one way or another. Fortunately, though, I am cognizant that this sort of things happens to everyone at one time or another. Unfortunately, I am staring up from the bottom of the rabbit hole, thinking to myself, “Fuck, eh. It’s a bit lonely down here.”

So, the plan is to climb out, and by the end of week, emerge gingerly, blinking into the sunlight. Here is my plan to recenter and find peace in my heart and mind.

I am going to get up at 5AM every day. I know; it is a beastly time to be up and about. But, I’ve realized that it will allow me a solid hour to get into some yoga, do whatever writing I may feel compelled to, and be mindful in my morning activities rather than just rushing through the means to get to the ends. I feel scattered and harried, and I think allowing myself more time to do things that energize me will make the extra hour and a half earlier wakeup-call completely worthwhile.

I am going to step away from the dating apps. They have become a bit of a crutch, are unfulfilling, and will not be able to offer me what I am looking for at this moment in time. Maybe I will revisit them once I have re-centered my focus. Or maybe I will leave them altogether. Delete. Part of the noise that is the tech world will no longer be a means for meeting possible partners. Hm, there’s a thought.

Most importantly, I am going to remind myself to the breathe throughout every and in all situations. Things spiral very quickly for me when I unknowingly starve myself for oxygen. Once it is gone, it is quite difficult for me to get back. I need to retrain my body to revel in the air it receives. That is where this plan is circular; the yoga will help me learn how to breathe again. It will also help me to slow down and listen more closely to my body and my energy.

And I definitely need to slow down. I’ve been on bandwidth overload for the last bit of time, and I cannot continue this way. I am not performing as the best version of myself. It is time to make some positive changes for myself, and, frankly, I know that I am the only one who can pull me from the morass in which I have sunken.

Starting tomorrow, it is a new week. Monday morning is the perfect time to get into a new rhythm. For myself and for all those I care about, I am hoping it will be the beginning of good happenings, Fall weather, and peace of mind. And–tech world be damned–a relent from bandwidth overload.

 

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